I sit and watch my disheveled room, wondering if I should try to do something about it or try to get more sleep before I have to get up...again. I need to go to the herb store to get Melatonin. I hope that will help, rather than taking seroquel, which still hasn't apparently been approved by DSHS anyway. That drug scares me. My doctor said it can cause involuntary movement. I'm very interested in trying alternative "medicine", such as hypnosis, acupuncture, massage therapy, yoga, meditation...I don't think I can be still enough to meditate, at least mentally. I've even heard that shock therapy can alleviate depression (no, I wasn't reading a 1950's article), so I'd even be willing to give that a try, as long as it's just a few sessions and not a long-term process. I imagine that would damage the brain, tho I know Rachel wouldn't put me in any kind of danger. Speaking of which, I haven't even started her baby blanket and she's due in two months. It may seem like quite a while yet, but I'm about a quarter of the way done with the one I'm working on now, and I've worked on it for six months! It's more difficult with my shoulder problems, but still. I promised Kimi I'd have it done for Paige by the time it got cold. Maybe I'll work on that now, since I woke up about 2 and haven't felt like sleeping yet. I'm determined to get it done though, even if I give it to Paige as a high school graduation present. I often wonder when I look around me, regardless of my surroundings, if it's all real, or, referring to my "random question" on my profile, if all we see or seem is but a dream, maybe even within a dream? When I think of the 100 year question and what anything anyone does or says, everything seems so insignificant. To answer the 100 year question, I believe my education is important. That is something I will have for the rest of my life that no one can take away from me, and something for me to pass on to my grandchildren to hopefully pass on to theirs (assuming that someday I'll have grandchildren). Not literally my education of course, since the only tangible thing would be my brain, and that would be gross, but to pass on that their grandma and great-great grandma was the first person on her mother's side to go to a university. I guess I feel that's important because of what my great grandmother, Emma Amanda, means to me though she died years before I was born. I always heard great things about her and she seemed larger than life. She had an immaculate garden, she was a fabulous cook, she crocheted, knitted, painted, and made pottery. My great grandpa, Otto, built a little shed for her in the backyard that housed a pottery wheel and a kiln. She was truly an artist. She made sachets out of lavender my grandmother still has (the picture was taken in Sequim, but not by me). She canned everything and filled her pantry throughout the summer in preparation for winter. Of course in those days, everyone did that. I did help my parents make pickles this year. I want to be much more like Gramma Emma. I'm guessing that she would be around 115 if she were still alive. But I also want to serve other people in my life. However, not necessarily that my whole life be one of service, but I want to help people who need it. I do volunteer for Equal Rights Washington (tho I havent much since I started school), I called today about volunteering for Volunteer Chore Services, which you are assigned an elderly person who still lives in their house but has trouble doing all their chores. If they can't keep up their house then it will probably be taken away from them. I found out about it through my psych class, where I have to do some type of volunteer service to fill a requirement and the students have to pick from a list. This is something I really want to do anyway. I would like to spend more time at Richmond Beach Rehab, where my grandma is, to one, see my grandma more often, and two, to spend a little more time with the other people there. Some of them hardly ever or never have visitors. My parents and I want to spend Thanksgiving at a food bank or soup kitchen this year; somewhere where they serve dinner to the poor and homeless. We can always record the football games ( ; A life of service and art sounds like a good life to me.
"Principles for the Development of a Complete Mind: Study the science of art. Study the art of science. Develop your senses - especially learn how to see. Realise that everything connects to everything else." Leonardo DaVinci
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