Oh, so it's my fault...

I'm exhausted. Carmen is driving me mad. She had an appointment today at noon with her therapist, and was going to see her mother afterwards (she hasn't seen her in a good week). I called at 2:30 asking if my dad would pick me up so I didn't have to take the bus since it was raining cats and dogs, and I have a lot of homework to do so I wanted to get home early. Dad was at a bar close to her therapist, and she was in a store next to it. Now it's my fault she didn't get to see her mother. And it's my fault that she feels too sick now to go see her. And it's my fault that it rained and traffic was a mess coming home so their round trip was two hours. I told them they didn't have to pick me up if they didn't want to. Have you ever been so tired you feel sick to your stomach? I don't have the flu. I just stayed up really (really) late night before last to work on this paper so I got less than 4 hours of sleep. Last night I didn't get home from school until after 7, and was so exhausted that I only had enough energy to eat and then went straight to bed. I feel more and more defeated. It makes it hard to motivate myself, and I feel like a failure. I have so much to do for my women's studies class. We're presenting tomorrow. Carmen's mad at me for some reason. I suppose the "reasons" I listed above. She's stomping around slamming doors. I guess I won't ask them for a ride again. When we got home I fixed myself a burrito, and she said in her bitchy tone, "Maybe your dad would like one.", and then went out to the porch and slammed the door. If he would, then he can fix it himself. I have things that I need to do. I'm surprised that she made her drink herself. If she can drink, then I suppose she's not that sick. After all this time and that woman can still drive me to tears. I'm not actually crying, but filled to the brim. I have a headache and I'm very tired, too tired to think or concentrate. I'm going to lay down for a while and hope I feel refreshed and motivated when I get up. After I try to help Carmen with her damn computer.....