Sometimes I think I'm going to grow into an old spinster. Sometimes I feel like an old spinster. I seem to find fault with any guy who isn't Diego, except for one, but I won't go there right now. And it's not like there's been that many in the past few years. Certainly not like when I was 17. There was a guy at this bar I went to, but decided I really wasn't that interested. He said something that put me off, and I don't even remember what it is. My sister said I should give him a try, but I'm just not interested. And we were all pretty schnockered. Especially my parents, of course. That's when I walked home from the casino, where the bar was. Selina said that I should give him a chance, and take alcohol into account.
Then there was Jason, that I used to work with. I had a huge crush on him and we flirted shamelessly in the office, but I was going out with Joe. We ran into each other at a speed dating event, of all things! Have I already told this story? Well, anyway, after some talking, I realized that he was totally self-absorbed and expected me to make all the effort, so I literally told him to fuck off and that was the end of that.
Last Saturday was my best friend's birthday party. The last of us were pretty drunk. An old flame of hers was there, and we talked a bit throughout the evening. One time we were alone in a room, and he tried to kiss me! It was like, "Whoa, buddy. Not so fast." It's not like Christina would care. She even said that maybe he and I would get really drunk and make out, but I like to think that I'm better than making out with this guy in my best friend's house at her birthday party. I like to think of it as self-respect, but maybe I'm being too prudish. I'm not attracted to him, and it turned me off that he would do that to a friend and old flame of his. He also currently lives on his parents' couch and he's in his 30's. That doesn't mean that I can't have a little fun with him, but I'm just not interested.
Now there's this guy who found me on FB, who was basically a fuck buddy in my college days at EdCC, Mike. Earlier this week he said he wanted to get together in the next few days to go to a movie and dinner, but then he never set up a time (typical male). So, I texted him asking him what he was up to. He said, "Too bad you don't have a car or I'd invite you over for movies." Somehow that put me off. Then I remembered that he lives an hour away, and that really put me off, that he expects I'm going to drive an hour to see him for some movies, and then drive home? It may be the next morning, but that's beside the point. I asked if he could meet half way to see a movie (like he suggested), but his roommate, Jen, rented a movie and got dinner, so he was busy. That also put me off. A while later he sent, "You should come down and give me a massage, lol. I could really use one." Now, I realize that this was a joke, but it still totally turned me off. Like I'm going to drive an hour to give your ass a massage? I'm also a bit nervous about seeing him because I'm a good 45-50 lbs heavier than the last time he saw me, and may be totally turned off by my fat.
Am I being too defensive? Will I become an old spinster who lives with her cats? Speaking of which, this is a picture of Pearl & Presley. I realized that I will probably have them until I'm in my mid-forties, which is a sobering thought. I don't really want to have more than two cats at once, so I won't be able to adopt any for probably 20 years. But I love them and will be happy with them. I just would like to save more kitties, but I have to think of the kitties I already have.
As I was just finishing this, Christina called to tell me she got officially engaged tonight. Now that I focus on being alone...I feel....lonely....
No comments:
Post a Comment