Safe!

 I know this probably sounds stupid, but sometimes I'm afraid of being too much. Of rising above the soft murmur of everyday life and openly take a stand on something - to be a leader. I feel safe as a soft-spoken follower who doesn't make waves regardless of whether I think changes need to be made or not. I think that Eve Ensler wrote something similar to this. Then I fantasize about being the tireless volunteer who fights for her convictions, and having a relationship with politicians who can actually make these come to fruition. Of stirring things up like in the '60s and '70s with the protests and marches and sit-ins. Of looking retribution in the eye and relentlessly push forward. But keeping my head low, keeping to myself, doing my own thing is safer. Besides, who has time for all that? I may have time right now, and maybe had time over the summer, but I start school in five weeks [add hint of sarcasm]. What if I really achieved that? What if I fail? Can I fail? Can little ol' me really make a difference? I was talking to a woman at that potluck who was an activist in the '70s, and she said she can't believe how complacent my generation is. Where are the leaders? Why don't people care? I gave her the usual rhetoric, that people are self-centered, caught up in their own lives, think those issues don't really affect them, etc. But what is really so different from 40 years ago? She said that someone needs to take a stand and motivate the young people. I felt like she was talking to me, and maybe she was. I wouldn't even know how to go about something like that. Could I get people to care in such an apathetic environment? Do I personally want to motivate people to care, and to do something about it? I really don't know the answer to that question.

"I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out." -Dolly Parton